Report from the Docking Ring: September 2013

Captain's Log: Edna Ironsides
Aboard Zoidberg (Algos-Class Destroyer)
High Orbit over Amamake II

The pirate life is paradise.

Well, perhaps there are some days that it is drole/no one will fight you/nothing particularly expensive stumbles into Amamake through the Osoggur gate. There also some days when you are godly, and manage things that require major intervention from Lady Luck (like the situation in the picture above, which shows my destroyer limping away in 9% structure). I have come to embrace the maxim which permeates the culture of Heretics:

"Mother Amamake provides."

And provide she does. In kills, in loot, isk, and surprisingly often, the lawlz that come out of our interactions with locals in the area, both elite and noob. I opened up my client this morning to note the automated message that, after an astonishing 5 days as members of the Minmatar Militia, the alliance was expelled due to low standings from relentless AWOXing of the entire Militia, as well as the results of at least 3 major war decs plus their allies that we accrued upon joining FW. Before we joined, much of the local militiamen and pilots in the nearby systems knew of Heretics by reputation, but never seemed to be particularly afraid of us, which was good, as it meant that continued to receive a stream of fools and uninformed muppets who would fall into our waiting jaws. Now, however, rage and smug dickery have increased hundreds of times, as Heretics, for a brief moment, became a 'hidden danger', we did not show up on the overviews of unaware FW pilots, or we appeared blue, right up until we locked, scrammed, and webbed them down. In a few days, there was no one in Amamake, our sites all open and the system completely uncontested. The magnificent intel instrument known as Militia chat was awash with a flurry of voices complaining, speculating, and trolling about our presence in FW. Sadly, with such a hit to our faction standing with the Republic due to the multitude we slaughtered, it was only inevitable that it should have to come to an end, and recommence our lives as ordinary pirates.

Also, we rolled in millions of faction LP, which should keep us space rich for the months to come.

As a final point, because readers of this blog must be alerted to this event, there was StefanMcCormack McCormack. This pilot of an extremely ill-fated Mackinaw has provided Heretics with a spectacle which we will be remembered fondly for months, if not years to come. After being silly enough to jump into Amamake and lose his Mack to our gate camp. He then came back after one of my alliance mates said we would return his loot to him if he jumped once more through Osoggur to Amamake and would slow-boat out to the canister where we had put his loot, conveniently next to our two smart-bombing battleships. And return he did, in his pod. In a moment I will probably never again see in New Eden, I watched his little pod slowly, at 172 m/s make his way out to the loot can next to the Rokh and Typhoon, arrive at the can, and we watched as he finally understood that his pod had no cargo bay. Below is the video of this little pilot's journey from the gate to the can and his subsequent demise. Special thanks to Switch 4 for frapsing this hilarious occasion, and adding very fitting theme music.

Signing off,


No comments:

Post a Comment